Read our thoughts.

25 April 2013

Changing Expectation to Appreciation

I think it all began when I started my motherhood journey, circumstances "forced" me to be ultra independent - something that was never in my dictionary because I have been fortunate not to experience any form of lack in my life before we started a family of our own.

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We will walk the extra miles together

It was just more than three months ago, that I started my “Extra mile” project. It was to pick up a piece of litter every day. I also started a faceboook page (A Litter at a time).

My little extra mile has surprisingly, brought me rather far.

First, Minister Mr Vivian Balakrishnan, Minister of Environment and Water Resources visited my humble site.

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Thankful Tuesdays: Give them time to grow

When Junior J was younger, we used to worry about his social development. The boy didn't really like to go out, and showed a preference to books over playing with friends. He would freeze if strangers tried to talk to him. We tried to arrange playdates, prod him to speak to this or that uncle or auntie, but it was slow going. He also struggled with transitions: going out was a challenge because it took him half an hour of cajoling before he would accept the idea. He would hide in his room for ten minutes or so, before saying hi to his friends when they came over for playdates.

Fast forward to now, and we've been seeing a different him. He now plays with other kids at the playground. He readily approaches adults whom he is familiar with, to say hello and give hugs. Just the past weekend, we arranged to meet his penpal for some water play, and he got along pretty well with her from the start. If this was a year ago, he would have probably ignored her for the first 20 minutes or so!

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Staycation: St. John’s Island

After reading in the ST about the one bungalow on St. John’s Island and wanting to relive one of their trips years ( or decades?) ago, my FIL made the arrangements for a short getaway. They were staying for 3 nights but we joined for only one.

Despite its unsavory past of cholera, beri-beri and leprosy quarantine, drug-rehab and prison, it is usually bustling with activity during the day with campers and 2 research institutes located on the island. I thought the 2 prison blocks still standing there was a little creepy though.

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Project - No to Anger

I'm on an anger management project. One that got me on and off track a few times, but still not giving up till I yield success. I want to yell lesser NOT yell at the kids and get my anger controlled. Easier said than done, but 'try' is the keyword.

Let me first set a realistic time frame - No yelling and get anger controlled for at least 2 weeks. After which, I hope I can celebrate success and keep this as an ongoing parenting project.

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12 April 2013

From Princess to Queen

Join me and 23 lovely ladies as we take a breather from the mothering madness and walk down memory lane. The Wedding Day may have since long passed, but there are certain snippets from that day which we will remember fondly, and will always remember forever.

We were all Princesses growing up, and then there came a day when we became 'Queen'.


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It's time to re-invent Singapore's education system for our children

Reading this on Today online yesterday, made me want to run out to set up a Lemonade stand for K right outside our estate this weekend, and share tips with him on entrepreneurship.



My only problem :

1. Most Singaporeans don’t drink Lemonade

2. The process of applying for a food shop license from National Environment Agency (NEA) will be too much of a hassle for profits of < $20.00

3. I might get complaints from some retiree staying in the vicinity who thinks that I am exploiting my 6 year old to earn money for me

How about selling packet drinks of local favorites on a really hot day. Now, I wonder if I still need to get a food license for that?

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03 April 2013

Trials and Tribulations: The Family Narrative

I have never suffered in my life. But my parents did. Trials and tribulations they went through, indeed.

There are many parts of their stories which I do not yet have the freedom to tell so this will be short. But they were betrayed and misunderstood by people closest to them. They owed a huge amount of money and had nowhere to turn to. Many times in their lives they were driven to desperation. My mother wanted to kill herself many times.
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These were the happier, earlier days.

What impresses me most about the trials they went through was not so much their ability to ride through the storm, although that was amazing in itself. I was most impressed with how little these emotional hurts corrupted their hearts. They never turned away from the people who betrayed and misunderstood them. They exercised so much grace and forgiveness in the reconciliation and restoration of the relationships. Most of all, they did not become bitter and distrusting. They hardly talk about the past, complaining about what they suffered. They lived in the “now”.

Full story here.
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Trials and Tribulations: My Pride, my worry

My trial and tribulation belongs to.. none other than my son. Yes, sonshine, my pride and also my source of worry.

Let's backdate this to when he was 2.5 years, then he was barely saying a word.

I worried.

When he finally spoke, his pronunciation was off- no one but us could understand what he was saying. He was already 3-4 years old then.

I worried.

When he finally got most of his pronunciation right, we soon discovered he was an introvert child at school. Too introvert. He didn't (still doesn't i think) interact with his classmates although he parallel plays with them.

I worried.

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Trials and Tribulations: What it Feels Like to be a Sick Mom with 3 Sick Kids

It’s the final week of husband’s reservist and I thought I’d have to blog about how the tougher challengers always occur when he can’t be around the kids as much as he wants to, due to work or country’s commitments.

In fact, I think I’ve been doing quite well so far. Until the recent weekend.

The last time he had reservist, the twins were about a month old while L1 was 1.5 YO. My confinement nanny had just concluded her 1 month of assistance, and into my 1st or 2nd night alone, I sprained my back while carrying a container of clothes into the room. I was cringing each time I had to bend down to pick up the babies, or put them down. My eldest was also going through an adjustment period and was more clingy than usual, so she too demanded for hugs and carry.

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Trials and Tribulations: Imperfections In Life Has Molded Me For Who I Am

I came from a broken family but it has somehow molded me to become who I am today. It's a fact I do not have a "perfect" family & I have learnt to accept it when my mother decided to bring me over to Singapore for studies when I was very young. I left my father I used to adore & respect. I was sad & afraid because I have no siblings to talk to or anyone to consult what was going on between them. After all, I was told not to meddle too much into the adult's affair.

All I knew was my mother worked very hard to raise the money in order to bring me over & left me in a home to stay with a bunch of other foreign kids. I was only 8 years old then & I remembered clutching tightly to a new doll my mother bought for me days before I was sent to live in that student hostel. I thought it was just a temporarily arrangement but after a few days no one came to fetch me home. Reality sunk in & I realised I'm really going to start a new life for good.


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Trials and Tribulations: Victory in Christ

Everyone has trials and tribulations,
I have my share of some.
Some gave me more determination,
Others drag me down to my own asylum.


One treatment after another,
One diet after the next.
Bottles and bottles of supplements later,
My body is still suffering from aches.


To say I felt defeated,
Is to put it mildly.
Many a times, death did cross my mind,
Then I think of my beautiful family.

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Trials and Tribulations: Treating A Chronic Cough

I had a lot going on from the time Layla was born, in 2006. Besides getting used to being a parent, I mean. I was back in night school after a month, trying to complete my counselling diploma. When Layla was three months old, I started taking up freelance proofreading jobs. I wrote papers, studied for exams, clocked 100 counselling hours as a trainee counsellor, and continued accepting all the editorial assignments that came my way.

There really was no time to address the strange bubbling in my tummy, which went on all day and night, whether I was hungry or full.

Later, I didn’t stop to wonder why the bubbling stopped and a new sensation took over–a pressure that seemed to be building upwards, towards my chest and throat.

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Trials and Tribulations: The Death That Changed My Life

I recently read some FTWMs’ blogs on why they could not be a SAHM. Alas, they all sounded so familiar!

I was an ambitious career woman prior to having AJ. I enjoyed my job. I had a supportive boss who was my mentor for 5 years. I had a wonderful team of colleagues whom I worked closely with. I had a good salary to draw on. I climbed the corporate ladder & had a career path.

Staying at home, looking after my child was never in mind. I love having a career, it was a sense of self-achievement. In fact, I was 1 of the selected candidates to be groomed for next promotion. I was also earning more than the father then, so it did not make economic sense for me to quit my job to look after a little one.

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Trials and Tribulations: About my Money Anxiety

On the 25th of every month, my salary is credited into my bank account. The minute I receive notification that the funds have been received, I go to the ATM to withdraw Emily’s salary and just over $700 for Alison’s Math and Chinese tuition fees. Then I go to the nearest AXS machine and pay off my credit card bill in full – I have two cards but only use one for all monthly expenses. My income tax and maid levy are deducted from the account sometime during the month, and whatever’s left (not very much) is whatever I have to spend on myself and on the family’s meals when we buy food from the nearby tze char stall or hawker centre. I keep track of what I spend with an iPhone budgeting app.

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Trials and Tribulations: My Epic Struggle

People ask me whether I have a preference for one of the JED kids over the other two. It's a hard question to answer. I once said, who I preferred at any given time, often had to do with who was behaving best at that moment. But if I thought about it, each child is special in their own way to me and they touch different parts of my heart.

Take for instance Jordan.

Jordan will always be special to me because she was my first born, along with Evan, and she is my only daughter. But more than that, Jordan is special because it took a long time to get to where our relationship is today.

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Trials and Tribulations: Becoming Mam

The Discovery

In May 2010, 2 weeks before our June 5 wedding, I was woken up by an intense pain in my tummy. Assuming it was a bad case of stomachache, I tried relieving myself in the toilet. However, nothing happened. I tried sleeping it off as it was not time to get ready for work. I struggled.

When my alarm rang, I had to make the decision whether I was fit for work that morning. I couldn't get up from my bed. I reached out to my mobile phone and texted my boss and admin to report sick for the day. My reason - very bad cramps. An excuse that was very unlike me.

Mum wanted to send me to the doc's, but I thought I could manage on my own. By 8:30am, I called Mum who had just reached the office, and told her that I may be suffering from appendicitis. Mum had her appendices removed before, so I was checking my symptoms with her. Dreading that I may have to be operated that day and getting increasingly hungry as I had to fast if I wanted to do the operation soon, I reluctantly agreed to go to the A&E.

At the A&E, there was a long queue as usual. After waiting for close to 3 hours, the doc took my blood samples for testing and found that I had incredibly high white blood cell count - a sign that I was fighting an infection. Since my self-diagnosis was appendicitis, the doc assumed that it was, but was alert enough to suggest another check - an ultrasound at the O&G department.

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Trials and Tribulations: A woman's gotta do what she's gotta do

To be very honest, I've always led a good life from young. Perhaps it was because I was the youngest child and only daughter. Spoilt (back then) - perhaps. I grew up never needing to worry about anything. I lived in a very protective world where nothing can come close to hurt me or lead me astray.


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Trials and Tribulations: A Birthday Wish I wish I can fulfill


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Trials and Tribulations: Group B Strep Infection Drama during Pregnancy

Last Monday on 11 Mar 2013, I received a call from my Gynae's clinic that I am tested positive for my Group B Strep test and i should go down to the clinic to collect some antibiotics for treatment.


On Tuesday, I went down to the clinic to collect the medication. However, I noticed that the antibiotics prescribed to me is the very one that was prescribed to me earlier in January for my sore throat! The problem is, a few hours after i took the antibiotics, my mouth swell and broke out in many ulcers. I am allergic to this antibiotics and i informed my Gynae to add into the list of my allergies. So the nurse told me to wait while they consulted the doctor. After a while i was called into the consultation room and my Gynae told me that he can't give me any antibiotics because i have allergies to Penicillin, Amoxicillin and Erythromycin. He then only add on to say too bad, cos he cannot give me anything from theses families of drugs. So we since can't treat the mom then we can only treat the baby when he is born. That's it!

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Trials and Tribulations: We are a three generation family!


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Trials and Tribulations: "Depression" is a Dirty Word

When Calla was born, Max was able to spend a good 2 weeks with us. He was on term break, if I recall correctly. My parents very kindly offered the help of their domestic helper, and she came over every other day to clean the house and fetch Poppy from the school bus if Max wasn't around. My wonderful neighbour prepared all my confinement food, which either Max or my parents' helper would collect daily. I was breastfeeding her fully and Calla slept and slept and slept almost all the time. Everything was perfect.

Then the second month rolled by and Max went back to work. Apart from the help we had from our weekly cleaner, I suddenly found myself all alone with a baby who was perpetually stuck to my boob with some kind of magnetic force. And when she was off my boob, she'd be crying to get back on it. Sleep? Sure she would. Only while being nursed, or in the baby carrier. And she would wake the moment she was put down.

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Trials and Tribulations: When Health Matters Most

It all started with a mysterious polyp, the size of a big red bean, in my nose.

For fear that it could be nose cancer, I went to see an ENT specialist for examination. After a CT scan, the specialist suspected that there was infection in my sinus, and he advised me to go for an operation.

It’s called a functional endoscopic sinus surgery (FESS) – a common type of surgery for chronic sinus disease. It’s performed using a small endoscope inserted through the nostrils, without an open incision, and through general anaesthesia. A biopsy was also performed to determine whether the polyp is cancerous.

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Trials and Tribulations: It's ok, I survived!

Growing up "alone" (as in the only child), I'm fortunate to have my mother as my pillar of strength. I watched her battle her illness as she pushed on to work to provide a domestic helper for my late grandmother and on top of that, tolerated my dad's nonsense. I was affected in a way. What I witnessed growing up drove me to make a pact with myself that I need to find the right husband and provide the best no matter how tough life is or will be for my family.

The turning point of my life was when my mom decided to divorce my dad after I was battered by him 11 years ago for "arguing" with him. I ran away from home, for the first time. I stayed out and I only contacted my mother. I was angry, hurt, bruised and emotionally scarred. Of course, I fought it out with him, tore his T-shirt and took a pen-knife out (hahaha) and told him to back off. Hello, I was 18 & I wasn't gonna let anyone hit me for no reason.

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01 April 2013

Trials and Tribulations: A family full of dreams...

Life is such. When you are single, you hope to get married, When you are married, you hope to have your own home. When you have your own home, you hope to have children and the list goes on.

Well you can say that I am a person who is easily contented. I do not need a super lavishing lifestyle (ok I still splurge at times) nor do I carry a branded bag with a whopping price tag. What I know I want is a family that I can call my own. But life is not always smooth sailing. We all have our own trials, before it a good or a bad experience. We all have untold stories. And here is a glimpse of how much my family has achieved: the joys we have had and the pain we went though.

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Trials and Tribulations: A glass half empty or half full?

Life is full of challenges. Our mom bloggers share their personal trials and tribulations stories in a linky and how they have overcome them. Hosted by : Rachel Teo of Catch 40-Winks

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There are plenty of heartbreaks, distractions, disappointments and challenges that often make their way into our lives every once in a while.

Life isn’t easy.

Some of us may have it a little easier than the rest, while others often have it really rough.

Often, bad things can happen anyone. We don’t have control of many of these things that happen to us, however, we have control over how we respond to our trial.

So when you look at this glass of water, do you see a glass that is half empty or half full?

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